I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize