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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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