I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
