Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
