I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize