Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
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