There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
