these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
