he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize