It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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