i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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