For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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