she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
