the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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