Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
