didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
