im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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