I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
my vag is so smooth its legendary
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Randomize
