Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
