everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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