i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
