You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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