My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
if only i could text you this smell
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Never underestimate the power of titties
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
