You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
