so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
