Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
