Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
send nudes
from the living room?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
