Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
