I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
