No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The power of my boobs compel you
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