girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize