What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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