i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
