4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
