No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
