i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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