bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize