I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
