haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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