she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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