I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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