i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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