fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
