Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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