i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
