he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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