You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
