...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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