they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm always down for nudity.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
