i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
