it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
