Jerry, you need to find god
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
