my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
