She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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