yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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