HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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