If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
