FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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