Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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