I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
