Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We had to coat check the pizza.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
