Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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