you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
