oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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