thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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