Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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